I was born under the astrological sign of Taurus, along with my father. My mom and other family members never ceased to remind me that like my dad, I was stubborn, which is a classic characteristic or the Taurean born. As an adolescent, this news landed in two ways. My first interpretation of being stubborn was a beneficent one. I was persistent in the face of obstacles. Quitting was not an option and finishing projects, a given. The second understanding took the first to its extreme.
Henry Ford said, whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you are right.
In my life, stubbornness is synonymous with being immovable. Like when sticking with a commitment or a point of view surpasses its’ utility. I have been known to stay in relationships, business and personal, long after they served their purpose. I have also held strong to a perspective, knowing it was keeping things from moving forward.
As I explore letting love in my life in greater ways, I am seeing where and how I don’t. It seems that the Universe is giving me more opportunities than usual to practice. I am having a hard time with being stubborn. The past few weeks I’ve been fatiguing quickly, struggling to muster up the energy to show up with patients. As my physiological ballast waned I found stubbornness showing up more, as if to keep my psychological ship from sinking.
Grateful to keep my life together, being stubborn has its consequences.
The last few weeks, the energy I had left went to my patients. I borrowed from the future by stimulating my adrenal glands with coffee. Off the chart pollen counts made it nearly impossible to fend off allergies. Say hello to irritability and insensitivity. The recipients of these hormonal/adrenal flares were two people, my beloved wife and my amazing business manager. Sorry Lovies. Really, I am. As my mentor Dr. Yvonne Farrell says, I was cranky pissy, or as my wife says, “man-bitchy”.
Love was definitely not flowing. In fact, I didn’t even want to be touched. Yea it was getting bad. I needed a break, a long one. About every three months, I get burned out. Overloaded. Taxed.
As the great sages of Chinese medicine teach, will-power is a finite resource.
So here I am en route to the Heart Chakra of the planet, Kauai. It takes strength and tenderness to Let Love In. Love is delicate, refined, and requires a feather-light touch. For the heart to open requires resources and sensitivity. I’m taking care of me so I can take care of the people I love. Kauai, help me Let Love In.