I was born under the astrological sign of Taurus, along with my father. My mom and other family members never ceased to remind me that like my dad, I was stubborn, which is a classic characteristic or the Taurean born. As an adolescent, this news landed in two ways. My first interpretation of being stubborn was a beneficent one. I was persistent in the face of obstacles. Quitting was not an option and finishing projects, a given. The second understanding took the first to its extreme.
Henry Ford said, whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you are right.
In my life, stubbornness is synonymous with being immovable. Like when sticking with a commitment or a point of view surpasses its’ utility. I have been known to stay in relationships, business and personal, long after they served their purpose. I have also held strong to a perspective, knowing it was keeping things from moving forward.
As I explore letting love in my life in greater ways, I am seeing where and how I don’t. It seems that the Universe is giving me more opportunities than usual to practice. I am having a hard time with being stubborn. The past few weeks I’ve been fatiguing quickly, struggling to muster up the energy to show up with patients. As my physiological ballast waned I found stubbornness showing up more, as if to keep my psychological ship from sinking.
Grateful to keep my life together, being stubborn has its consequences.
The last few weeks, the energy I had left went to my patients. I borrowed from the future by stimulating my adrenal glands with coffee. Off the chart pollen counts made it nearly impossible to fend off allergies. Say hello to irritability and insensitivity. The recipients of these hormonal/adrenal flares were two people, my beloved wife and my amazing business manager. Sorry Lovies. Really, I am. As my mentor Dr. Yvonne Farrell says, I was cranky pissy, or as my wife says, “man-bitchy”.
Love was definitely not flowing. In fact, I didn’t even want to be touched. Yea it was getting bad. I needed a break, a long one. About every three months, I get burned out. Overloaded. Taxed.
As the great sages of Chinese medicine teach, will-power is a finite resource.
So here I am en route to the Heart Chakra of the planet, Kauai. It takes strength and tenderness to Let Love In. Love is delicate, refined, and requires a feather-light touch. For the heart to open requires resources and sensitivity. I’m taking care of me so I can take care of the people I love. Kauai, help me Let Love In.
4 comments on “Kauai Bulls”
Well, I guess you are human. And one does take it out on one’s most precious loved ones. They will forgive and they love you unconditionally. Thank you for taking care of yourself so you can take care of the people you love. I am sure Kauai can help you Let Love In. We were there August 1977. It was beautiful. Then, there is the Fern Grotto in Maui I think. That would be a good place to Let Love In. I Let Love In today by pondering the words “good shot” when I was playing pickleball today. Savor some pineapple for me.
From one Bull to Another: We are tireless creatures, hard-work is like breathing air, harnessed to duty, we enjoy the challenge, when it’s the most difficult, we are at our best, calm, methodical and in our element…..we forget about ourselves because really, we often need very little and easily share what we have…it is…in the nature to be this way…caring for ourselves is…somewhat of a learned endeavor….not always supported by others (after all, they still need the stability that is provided just by the presence of the Bull : )..I don’t even know you this lifetime, but I know you are one of the real and sincere ones and so my advice to you is to really take care whenever and wherever you need to….without a second thought, without even a slight hesitation…head out to the proverbial pasture and graze, lay in the grass and let nature show you what un-contrived meditation is all about, no postures, no breathing “methods”, total let go (that’s hard to do for the Bull, speaking from my own experience) OR, may a spontaneous call to someone you can just sit with and not need to speak much (perhaps another Bull or new friend?!?: ), have a cup of tea with them, talk of good memories, share old stories….But most importantly, remember these things cuz I might need a solid reminder myself and would like to know there are others that see themselves in me and might take the time to help me remember…we all get “off the path” for periods of time…..Bulls sometimes forget that they are Human, as their memory of “needing”, in the spectrum of their lives, is….less…..The world needs the Bulls, the Bulls need to hang in the pasture sometimes and remember the world…..nothing new for a man such as yourself, just a simple reminder….look forward to meeting you one day.
I love your words. They ring true in so many ways. Melinda told me you came in the other day. i’m sorry I missed you. I would love to get together and talk story, graze in the pasture if you will. Bull to bull if you know what I mean. I checked out your site, it looks great. We should be able to get you some studio space to teach as well. Looking forward to connecting. All love, Luke
Where may I play pickleball on Kauai?