Learn How to Express What You Suppress
One of my mentors, David Elliott, says “You are either exactly like the people that bother you or you suppress what they express.” When you can own that part of you, accept it and have compassion for yourself, you will heal both yourself and the people around you.
Consider that what most bothers you about other people are energies inside of you that you have not fully faced and accepted. The people you most resist reflect aspects of yourself. The resistance is there to help you see where love for yourself can increase.
Closely examine the people and things that bother you the most. Ask why that is, and then look even closer. Underneath your resistance, you will see the same tendencies that bother you in you. Often, our parents are the first mirrors for this. For example, as a kid I was scared of Dad’s anger. However, when I learned to express my own anger, I realized that love was underneath it all. Once I fully understood that, I could love myself and my dad and release fear. When anger arises in me or others I now have the skill to mix love with it and use the emotion to heal, rather than to diminish.
Here is an exercise from my book, Born to Heal, to help you reflect on a situation that is bothering you:
(Read through once first; then sit and take a few deep breaths before you begin.)
Pick an issue in your life. Close your eyes and be still. Release the search for answers in your mind. Feel with the center of your chest. Be willing to feel the layers of knowledge with your heart. The experience will not appear like thoughts in your head. It will appear like images that arise from feelings in the center of your chest. Remember that being right has nothing to do with love as love is always right. Trust your Heart.
After a few minutes, write down the exact thoughts, images and feelings that surfaced without any form of self-censoring. Write down exactly what you may have wanted to suppress, perhaps out of residual fear, shame, or guilt, as these are the thoughts to go back to and release. Repeat the exercise to uncover deeper layers of insight.