What if You Stopped Holding Back?
People do not like to admit they are afraid. Fear is not an attractive emotion. It does not inspire strength. Suppression at the level of the kidneys appears as withholding, surmised by the idea, “Rather than admit what I’m afraid of, I’ll pretend it is not real by saying nothing.” You know the mysterious type that people find attractive. “He’s so mysterious,” you hear people say. Yeah, the mysterious dude that you find attractive is at least as scared as you are, but he has learned to dissemble and hide the fear in bravado, style, glibness, or some other distracting behavior.
Withholding information, feelings, and love is a form of suppression that separates the heart from your soul throughout all dimensions of your self. It is a marker for expansion. The thing you are afraid to admit will set you free.
People don’t need to know all of your thoughts. Discernment is needed. Will your thoughts and feelings uplift the situation and set people free even if they create discomfort? If yes, then sharing your truth would be a good thing. If your fear diminishes what’s possible, feeds insecurity, or demeans people’s inherent goodness, it’s probably better for you to ask someone neutral to help you process or spend some time alone in nature. Complete transparency is not always appropriate. We don’t want our fears to feed fear. We want to mix love with it and use fear’s powerful energy to create more love. You don’t need to share things that insult people’s Divine essence. Never tell your partner, “Those pants make your butt look big.” Or that he is fat. Think before you speak, and when you do say something, be kind, friendly, and loving with your words, even when you to tell someone a hard truth.
Fear is a way your heart gets your attention that something needs to change. It’s a two-way process, because it helps you and others. Your soul needs you to help others grow. Fear has a lot of affinity for grace. When you find yourself trying to bury fear or feeling ashamed of feeling fear, offer yourself more grace and invite your heart to shower you with love.
In the West, most people were taught since childhood to suppress every emotion except happiness, and even then, to express happiness only to a degree. You don’t want to annoy people by being too happy, right? You don’t want them feeling badly if they are less happy than you. And you fear that if you subject your happiness to their scrutiny, they may burst your bubble. So we sometimes suppress exactly the happiness that would make the whole world better. Only when we are falling in love and cannot contain the glow, does our supreme happiness shine through.
Suppressed emotions undermine wellness. Every time you are kind with yourself and allow your feelings to flow, you change the culture of emotion in society. When you choose to love yourself, you grant grace to your being and lift up the world. You break the imprisonment of negative self-talk. The highest form of gratitude is absorption in self-love. What you omit, will not quit. Over time the energy required to conceal truth will exhaust you and suck up your creativity.
Answer these questions from my book, Born to Heal, regarding fear and how it shows up in your life:
- To whom or to what do I give most of my energy? (i.e. work, friends, family, drugs, sex)
- What am I afraid of in that arena of life?
- How doest that fear show up in every area of my life?
- If my first response is, “I am not afraid,” look closer. The nature of fear is to try to remain hidden.
- If I’m feeling tired or wired: What fear am I covering up with my busy schedule?
I am here when you would like help feeling safe to express rather than suppress your emotions. Book an appointment for Core Level Awakening. I am now offering one on one appointments that are exclusively focused on breaking through what is holding you back from experiencing your true essence and deep contentment.