Keeping It With You
I have the good fortune of working in an environment focused on healing: physically, mentally and spiritually
I have excitedly chosen to make this a mirror for my personal life as well.
As of late, there have been many moments of self – (and just plain) – realization.
You know what I am talking about… the “a-ha” moments; moments where your mind and body go into the state of pure bliss because, once again, you have “figured it out!”
These moments come by way of a conversation, argument, or other experience. In the space following the realization I know that I would never make that same mistake again – I know that I have learned something that deeply humbles my ego.
For the first day or maybe even few days, that “lesson” is with me… often it does not stay. How do I keep it with me? How do I avoid stumbling back into that same pattern?
How do i keep moving forward, lesson learned?
This past weekend I got into a discussion – and when I say discussion I am being diplomatic – this past weekend I got into an argument, with my partner. An argument where I didn’t want to hear much, was defensive and needed an attitude adjustment. We were discussing some serious areas in our relationship, areas where I have had various “a-ha” moments. Areas where i am “keeping it with me”…and of course, the dreaded areas where I am not.
Maybe it is my Taurean nature, but it seems old habits die hard. Specifically, being more careful with my words and what comes out of my mouth, being more understanding and not wanting things my way all the time… and mostly just working on really hearing my partner. Being a good listener is easy, actually hearing what the person is saying, is a lot more challenging. I have had countless “a-ha” moments in these same areas, but let me tell you, I risk more and more every time I don’t “keep them with me”.
When I say “keep it with me” I am talking about a specific neurological process that actually occurs in our brains. What I experience when my emotional + logical brains connect. For example, you are discussing a situation where you did wrong… you feel remorse about what you have done and assure the person you hurt that you are sorry. You can’t believe you’ve done this, and you will never do it again.
…remember what your teachers used to say, ”take the ‘knowledge you learned in the classroom’ and apply it!”
The way you learn isn’t that first “a-ha” moment, but rather, when you are face to face with scenarios that look just like the ones before them. The scenarios that have yielded the same end results over and over again. The difference? You make a conscious decision to change that path.
You then create a new path or synapse in your brain – for this new way of thinking, behaving, or being and it gets stronger every time you choose it.
The act of creating the new synapse actually causes the one that came before it to dissolve; severing the tie to the old behavior. Powerful image, huh?
I am choosing to look at the practice of “keeping it with you” as sort of a game. Not a game in the sense that the outcome does not really matter, or that I don’t take it seriously. Looking at this practice as a game means I really look at it for what it is – teaching my brain new things – and reinforcing them – that way I am not caught up in more than I need to be.
We all have this auspicious ability in all of us… ultimately, we will be the ones healing ourselves.